Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us. Ephesians 3:20
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2 Years – 24 Months – 730 Days – 17520 Hours – 1051200 Minutes – 63072000 Seconds…
That is how long Gannon and I have been trying to get pregnant. When I look back over these past 2 years I’m amazed at how much God has used our story to touch others, how much He has grown my spiritual walk with Him and how I have learned to put my complete trust in God. No matter how hard and scary that may be.
Even though I know God has been molding me into what I hope is the best mother I can be, these past 730 days have not always been easy. There have been many nights I have cried myself to sleep asking God why? Many times I have cried over yet another Facebook pregnancy announcement. Many days I have begged God to please let this treatment work and pleading for a miracle. Many times I thought I wasn’t strong enough to do it anymore. So many days I just wanted to stay in bed and not have to face my reality. But then God reminds me of Luke 8:22-25 and how Jesus calmed the storm. The scripture says this…
One day Jesus said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side of the lake.” So they got into a boat and set out. As they sailed, he fell asleep. A squall came down on the lake so that the boat was being swamped, and they were in great danger. The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Master, Master, we’re going to drown!” He got up and rebuked the wind and the raging waters; the storm subsided, and all was calm. “Where is your faith?” he asked his disciples. In fear and amazement, they asked one another, “Who is this? He commands even the winds and the water, and they obey him.”
I love this story because it reminds me that God never gives us more than we can handle. And although these past 2 years have not been exactly how I imagined, I know God will ALWAYS be there to calm the storm at the right time. I just have to have Faith. Hebrews 11:1 says, “Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.” I know that even in the midst of our “storm” God is working behind the scenes to provide a beautiful future for us. It’s easy to focus on the negative, and trust me, there are days I am totally guilty of it. But the positive is so much more beautiful. Yes, it has been 730 days since we have been trying to have a family. And yes, it seems like FOREVER! But, 4 weeks ago God followed through with that promise and provided us two precious little miracle embryos. I have so much Faith in those two little miracles and February 18th they will officially be “home” and mature into our perfect little baby(ies).
Oh, and yes, I just said OUR FROZEN EMBRYO TRANSFER IS SCHEDULED for February 18th!! I am overjoyed and SO READY to get those little babies home…well in my uterus!
Every morning when I fist wake up I try and read the daily bible verse on the bible app. Hopefully to get my heart ready and prepared for the day. This morning it was one of my favorite verses. Psalm 37:4, “Take delight in the lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” It’s funny how if you take the time to notice it, God is showing you little bits of “Faithfulness” throughout the day. We just have to realize He will rescue us when the time is right.
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That scripture is the reason I feel like I have been able to find joy in our circumstances. Thank you, Jesus, for your beautiful promise and for restoring my faith first thing in the morning!